你知道吗，我一直都把你放在第一，虽然我知道一个事实，我永远都不会是你的第一个。no matter what I do right? 朋友都说我傻，说我笨，可是他们不懂我为你做一切东西的时候，是多么的开心，多有满足感。我已经不明白自己这样做到底值不值得，你是我唯一最有感觉的男生，却又是同时对我最模糊，冷淡的人类。为什么那么大的反差？难道你feel不到我给你的真心？我能不能从你那里要求一点点的珍惜，至少让我知道我值得。
那就干脆点吧，我们就停在这里，放下句号好吗？以后不管我怎样找你都好，就不要理我。

对不起，我不想只做朋友，因为我对你的感觉完全不是朋友。所以我们算了好吗？

我当作我忘了5年前我去过的营会，忘记我曾今那么爱过一个这样不值得的你。为你划过的一切时间，精神，心思。

如果那么刚巧你真的读了，就别提起，也不用理我。我们就这样。 ：)

以后你找到了你的她，我会很高心，至少我知道有一个你那么爱的她陪你到最后。jin jia真心。

Can I be close to you?
no. I know, I knew. The answer is always a No. Since the last time we met, my feeling toward you got deepen but this time is totally different. I just feel that, we are more to a very-good-old-friends. You still the only one who caught my heart, even the feeling is not that much compare to back then, but trust me, no any other boy can replace you so far.

You, with your sense of fashion, taste of music, same hobby as mine, were all so on the point. I don't know how we going to end up. Being friend only? Can I askmore than that? but everytime this question come across, my brain will automatically say NO. Maybe I know we never ever gonna be together, you will not like this type of girl like me right? Compare to your besties, can sing, can write songs, compose, another look cute, and me such a crazy, 38 girl.

You might not know, every present I bought you on your birthday actually being considered over many times. I will scroll your tweet, try my best to get what you want, I hope to give you something you like. It's hard to do all these, handmade card, which might take a 2 hours to finish it. Last birthday, I bought you a temporary tattoo, I actually scroll through many online store, consider which to buy, even scroll in lecture, asked roommate, asked classmate. All these act are lame, stupid in my best friend eyes, they said you doesn't worth me doing all these for you, but I told them I enjoy doing all these for you. I like when you appreciate my gift. Friends always say you don't even buy me anything during my birthday or in return send me something. I mind, I feel sad, I did expect something in return, but I tell myself don't expect too much.

Thanks for layan me all the while, I don't know how you feel when I keep ws you or tweet back you, I feel like I am the lebih one in your life.

So that day, we hangout, you drove me around subang, bring me to eat good food. It was so normal in others eyes, but it is already a luxury for me. I couldn't ask for more I know. chenghao, I hope I will be the only one who call you this, at least allow me to have something special in your life. Hmmmm, why will I fall for a guy who doesnt like back me. 5 years, dude. It is 5 years, since the camp. Even rejected I still fall for you. I guess this is what we call love blind. :(

Nevermind, if you meant to read this, don't feel awkward or guilty. It's either you ignore me like we tak pernah met each other, or you act like you don't know this. Okay? I am willing to be just your friend, as long as we call each other a friend. Or else, leave me alone, ignore me even when I reply you. Don't like my feed don't reply me if I can't control myself to comment under your IG.

When I will become a friend of your that worth you posting me on your feed? TT